Cliques in Swing Dancing
- scotland dancing
For a change from all the walking posts, this one is about swing dancing and the swing dancing communities.
After five months in Edinburgh in which I went to most swing dancing events and classes that were available, joined all the Edinburgh swing dance Facebook groups, added many, many fellow dancers as fb friends, went for after-dance drinks, brought cake, and joined as many socials as possible, the hard work is finally paying off and people here are getting used to my face and warming up to my presence. Many know my name and some even pronounce it correctly, they seem genuinely interested in what I am doing - beyond British politeness and small talk - and I even get invited to birthday parties.
So it took me a while, but it seems like I have finally been able to approach the in-crowd - if not started to be part of it - which prompted me to write about cliques in swing dance scenes.
From my own experience and conversations with other swing dancers it seems like most swing dance communities are to a certain degree cliquy. There is always a group of dancers, which includes the teachers, where everyone seems to be friends, and everyone dances well. Members of this group ask each other to dance much more often than they ask people who are not in the group. The others, the people who are not in the group, are usually new beginners, people who just joined the community maybe because they moved there, and people who don’t go to the weekly lessons or social dances regularly. The others sometimes resent members of the group for being less inclusive than they could be and not asking others to dance a lot, and they think it is at least in part because they don’t dance well enough. The group, on the other hand, is probably not even aware of the fact that it is considered a clique. The reason that they hang out with each other has nothing to do with dancing ability and everything with knowing each other and being friends. And it is not a coincidence that they usually dance well - they have been doing it for a while, that’s how they made these friendships. It is good and comfortable to be part of a group, especially at self-consciousness raising events such as partner dances. It is easier to chat with people you know a little bit than with strangers. And why would swing dancers be any different from anyone else? And for many, dancing nights are about seeing their friends as much as about dancing.
I remember that it took even longer to become a part of the in-crowd of swing dancers in Princeton, which I believe was for several reasons: I was an absolute beginner and they were all great dancers, therefore I was shy to ask them to dance. It never crossed my mind that they might be a dynamic group open to additions, and I didn’t want to intrude. And before the first wave of swing dance obsession hit me I didn’t go as often to the classes as I did later, so they didn’t see my face regularly and connecting was more difficult. Also, I didn’t talk much to people, as I found it tricky to chat while dancing, and chats between dances were short and superficial. And finally, I didn’t try that hard to make friends there as I had plenty great friends outside of dancing. But after showing up more regularly for maybe half a year I couldn’t keep my reserve in face of American friendliness, and I found myself drawn into the clique, going to workshops together, sharing lifts, and just hanging out and chatting at dance events. And it just got better and nicer and friendlier and then, sadly, I moved away.
As a new dancer or a dancer new to the particular scene it is helpful to realise that anyone can become part of the core group of dancers just by showing up regularly and being friendly. And as 99% of swing dancers are super friendly people they will talk to you, just keep coming.
And so I am now feeling at home in the Edinburgh swing dance community. There are always people I can talk to without having to cover the basics (name, origin, occupation, etc.) first. For every kind of music there is some leader I know with whom it will be really fun to dance. I have my guy for fast Balboa dance, another guy for super silly songs, two or three guys for the bouncy swingy songs. And here, I was never worried about not being one of “the cool guys”, because I knew that with time, persistence, and a smile on my face once in a while, I’d be one of them eventually.
After five months in Edinburgh in which I went to most swing dancing events and classes that were available, joined all the Edinburgh swing dance Facebook groups, added many, many fellow dancers as fb friends, went for after-dance drinks, brought cake, and joined as many socials as possible, the hard work is finally paying off and people here are getting used to my face and warming up to my presence. Many know my name and some even pronounce it correctly, they seem genuinely interested in what I am doing - beyond British politeness and small talk - and I even get invited to birthday parties.
So it took me a while, but it seems like I have finally been able to approach the in-crowd - if not started to be part of it - which prompted me to write about cliques in swing dance scenes.
From my own experience and conversations with other swing dancers it seems like most swing dance communities are to a certain degree cliquy. There is always a group of dancers, which includes the teachers, where everyone seems to be friends, and everyone dances well. Members of this group ask each other to dance much more often than they ask people who are not in the group. The others, the people who are not in the group, are usually new beginners, people who just joined the community maybe because they moved there, and people who don’t go to the weekly lessons or social dances regularly. The others sometimes resent members of the group for being less inclusive than they could be and not asking others to dance a lot, and they think it is at least in part because they don’t dance well enough. The group, on the other hand, is probably not even aware of the fact that it is considered a clique. The reason that they hang out with each other has nothing to do with dancing ability and everything with knowing each other and being friends. And it is not a coincidence that they usually dance well - they have been doing it for a while, that’s how they made these friendships. It is good and comfortable to be part of a group, especially at self-consciousness raising events such as partner dances. It is easier to chat with people you know a little bit than with strangers. And why would swing dancers be any different from anyone else? And for many, dancing nights are about seeing their friends as much as about dancing.
I remember that it took even longer to become a part of the in-crowd of swing dancers in Princeton, which I believe was for several reasons: I was an absolute beginner and they were all great dancers, therefore I was shy to ask them to dance. It never crossed my mind that they might be a dynamic group open to additions, and I didn’t want to intrude. And before the first wave of swing dance obsession hit me I didn’t go as often to the classes as I did later, so they didn’t see my face regularly and connecting was more difficult. Also, I didn’t talk much to people, as I found it tricky to chat while dancing, and chats between dances were short and superficial. And finally, I didn’t try that hard to make friends there as I had plenty great friends outside of dancing. But after showing up more regularly for maybe half a year I couldn’t keep my reserve in face of American friendliness, and I found myself drawn into the clique, going to workshops together, sharing lifts, and just hanging out and chatting at dance events. And it just got better and nicer and friendlier and then, sadly, I moved away.
As a new dancer or a dancer new to the particular scene it is helpful to realise that anyone can become part of the core group of dancers just by showing up regularly and being friendly. And as 99% of swing dancers are super friendly people they will talk to you, just keep coming.
And so I am now feeling at home in the Edinburgh swing dance community. There are always people I can talk to without having to cover the basics (name, origin, occupation, etc.) first. For every kind of music there is some leader I know with whom it will be really fun to dance. I have my guy for fast Balboa dance, another guy for super silly songs, two or three guys for the bouncy swingy songs. And here, I was never worried about not being one of “the cool guys”, because I knew that with time, persistence, and a smile on my face once in a while, I’d be one of them eventually.